I’ve kept you hidden
Within the walls of my heart
I’m a vampire who was staked
But has yet to have died
You’re the life of me
But also the death
I’m stuck…

I won’t even try to lie. I cried like a mother fucking bitch when Lana didn’t go to Clark at the barn and when Clark saw Lana marry that douche bag of an asshole, Lex and when Clark confronted Lana but she still turned him down because of Lionel threatening to kill him and when Lana looked back in the limo and Clark had to watch her leave his life… I cried like a mother fucking bitch… That was the saddest shit i’ve ever seen in my entire history of watching tv series… EVER. I’m sorry to the guy who created Superman to begin with and to Lois Lane (Erica Durance) of Smallville because I love you and you’re fucking amazeballs but I love CLANA together… I love them together… The fact that they’re star crossed lovers is just fucking mind blowing and heart touching… I think they shoud have ended up together… 

I have my future to think about. If I passed my tests then i’ve got this whole life of mine to plan out but something’s clouding my judgement… Someone… Is clouding my judgement. I’m supposed to be this adult soon and look to the future… But I can’t seem to see passed that someone. 

There are a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t love her. 

We were never even together. 

She doesn’t even like me. 

She’s straight, aside from that one girlfriend she had. 

I can go days, weeks, months without talking to her.. Years, even. 

There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t love her. 

Why loving her, shouldn’t even be in the equation. 

But I know that I do. 

I know that I love her. 

Those days, weeks, months that I can go without talking to her, even years… 

Are torture. 

I wish that I could pick up the phone and call her. 

Or send her a text message and she’d text me back. 

I wish that I could be in her life as much I as want to. 

But I can’t. 

Because that’s her choice. 

But those days, weeks, months that I can go without talking to her, even years… 

Are nothing compared to the feeling I get…

The feeling I get every day… 

Every single day of thinking of her. 

So all those reasons of why I shouldn’t love her… 

Don’t matter. 

Because… 

I don’t know if i’ll ever see her again or even talk to her, for that matter. 

But… 

I can’t go a day without thinking about her… 

And because of that… 

All I know is that I belong beside her. 

I should be the one beside her. 

As a friend, 

Or a lover, 

Or a neighbor… 

I should be there… 

Heard this today… “If you killed yourself, no one would care, nothing would change, it wouldn’t affect anyone or anything” I couldn’t respond or say anything because I was holding the tears in my throat. I knew they weren’t speaking to me but I feared ever hearing those words. But all that was running through my mind was, “I know” 

You are the girl
I wish to be with
The one who holds my heart

You have the power
To shatter me
Yet, I am not afraid

Because although my heart may break
My love will not fade
Instead it will be spread amongst the night sky into stars

My love will keep you warm at night
It will protect you from harm
And watch over you as you sleep